Editorial note: This week we are taking a different point of view in the Teen’s Perspective column. As our writer is fighting a viral illness, a parent of teens shares her perspective on social life and teens.
As a parent of teens I am grateful that, thus far, the challenges have been minimal, and my children have been responsible and respectful. Of course, I think some of this can be attributed to the way they’ve been raised, not only now as teens, but since they were toddlers.
Even when my children were little, they were taught to be responsible for their actions. Books and toys were treated nicely. If you did something unkind to your sibling, you needed to apologize. That apology wasn’t just an “I’m sorry”, they also had to consider why they did something and what they should do next time.
As teens they now know that if they run late or make a bad decision, they will be held accountable for their actions. Because of this, they understand that their social life is a privilege. Going out on a Friday night isn’t going to happen if their grades are sub-par or they are not respectful to others in the house. However, if they are doing well in school and are generally well-mannered, then they will have the freedom to partake in social activities
Please note that I said that they need to be generally well-mannered. I don’t expect the kids to be angelic. No one is. If you decide that leaving your laundry on your bedroom floor is acceptable to you, that is fine with me. Of course, if you bring a week’s worth of laundry to the basket, you will be washing and folding it yourself. You can disagree with a parent respectfully. That doesn’t mean that you’ll get the results that you want, but we can discuss options.
Sure, there are moments where either one of the kids or myself decides that the discussion isn’t going well, and one needs to walk away. There are moments where parenting is frustrating and challenging, but I think that is how it should be. I always have thought that if parenting is done well, it should be a difficult job. However, the rewards of this work is amazing; there’s nothing else to which it can be compared.
Parents, if you’re wondering how to get through these years, my advice is to hold your kids accountable. Once they understand this, I am sure you will see changes for the better.
Teens, if you’re wondering how to be able to do more things independently, be respectable and responsible. You’ll be amazed at the freedom you may be given.