Eleven months ago I witnessed the birth of my daughter. She started off as a blob that just laid there and pooped a lot. Then she would roll over after many minutes of effort. A smile and a slight giggle or crying was about the extent of our feedback. Now, she can’t be contained, as she crawls and is taking baby steps. We never have a question about what is on her mind as her personality is a strong one. I am still far away from father-daughter conversations lasting into the night; however, it is a blessing to watch her as a little girl.
I have many questions about what to do and even my parenting tactics. This is more of a venting article to let other parents know how clueless I am. With all of the books out there and all of the expert advice, there is still no one way. We followed the nighttime crying routines listed, and we had to adapt them.
It was a relief to know other parents struggled, too. In fact, reading these books made me feel inferior because I couldn’t make the techniques work. The only thing keeping me going was hearing those who have been in my shoes say they had to experiment.
Now, we are faced with a new challenge. How do we discipline her, or do we? She is becoming a hitter. When we hold her she will swat at us in a playful manner. “No,” doesn’t really work, and we are obviously not going to paddle her. We are trying anything, but still have no clue. Other parents really don’t have much in the way of help here…do any of you?
Then feeding time is hit or miss. She is a great eater when she wants to be, that is. She will get into a mood and just stop eating. Again we are lost. We don’t want her to go hungry, but at the same time are not going to make ten different meals until she is happy.
Maybe we should just bide our time till she is “trainable”.
When my daughter was about the same age, she also went through a hitting phase. For her, the technique that stopped it was putting her down. All I did was set her on the floor. She then would put her arms up to, asking to be picked up again. I refused to pick her up for a few minutes. The look on her face when I wouldn’t pick her up clearly was one of shock that Mommy wouldn’t hold her. After a few times, she learned not to hit in order to be held by me.
Of course, all children are different, so this approach may not work with your little one. Best of luck!
Thanks, Michele. That is great advice…it has had some early success.