Approaching the subject of sex at this age doesn’t seem like a topic appropriate for tweens. However, there is a very real need to approach this discussion at this age. The fact is that some tweens are having sex. It is a reality that can’t be ignored because you are uncomfortable with the subject.
It is very hard to discuss something so very personal. So many issues are colliding at that age group and as they age, it only becomes worse. Peer pressure, body awareness, and self-image issues are becoming stronger. While as parents, we want our tweens to remain kids, it is impossible for them to ignore these types of influences. The best defense against them getting into trouble in this area is to tackle this subject head on.
Knowledge is power and in the area of sex it is one of the biggest deterrents. Most tweens think that the result of sex is an unwanted pregnancy. But as a parent, talking about all of the consequences is important. So before you step into this discussion, you want to prepare yourself to talk about more than just a baby. Include a discussion about sexually transmitted diseases.
More important than discussing the physical aspects of sex is initiating a discussion on emotional results and the effects it has on relationships. You want to talk about things like how it impacts self-esteem, how it changes a relationship between people, and how it can change how their friends look at them. You need to stress the realities over the perception. Be clear that things will change and not always for the better.
Make this a true conversation and get their input. If they have a question that you don’t have answers to, don’t be afraid to look it up. The answer is at your fingertips. This way you both know the answer and your tween isn’t searching elsewhere from an unreliable source such as their friends for answers.
Talk about birth control. Make certain they have all the facts surrounding it — including the fact that it can fail even if used properly. If you are uncomfortable discussing the proper usage of birth control, then sit down with your doctor and your tween for this particular discussion.
Finally, keep the lines of communication open about this topic. You want your tween to be open to discussion if you aren’t particularly keen on discussing it. But keeping this line open will help you later on when your tween turns into that teen.
Talking to your tween about sex is one of the roughest discussions that you will probably ever have. It is an embarrassing subject and there is a very strong desire for your kids just to remain kids. However, in order for them to enjoy their childhood a little longer, you will need to address this very grown up subject.