As many people will tell you, one of the biggest learning experiences you will experience in high school is how to establish and maintain a healthy relationship. The vast majority of teenagers will enter their first “serious” relationship during their high school years. I, personally, am in my first one. With that said, it is an important time for teenagers to learn how to maintain a healthy relationship. However, they may still need some pointers in order to make sure that it is going properly.
- You don’t need to be together 24/7. I get it, you really want to be with that other person constantly, but you don’t have to be. That last thing you want to do is start to smother that person or make them get tired of your presence. With that said, don’t avoid them either. Basically, I’m just saying that you should not be omnipresent in their life.
- Make sure that you get to know their family and establish a working relationship with them. You need to be sociable with their family, especially their parents. If the parents are able to communicate with you and grow to trust you, it makes everything a lot easier. Also, it is good to get to know their siblings. Knowing their siblings can be very helpful. For example, I’m friends with my girlfriend’s brother, so I use him to help me out with things like gift ideas.
- Do your best to make sure that the other person is happy. If you care about their happiness as much as your own, you know that you are in a healthy relationship. I’m not saying that you always have to put them before yourself, but you shouldn’t be selfish either. Also, this is not a one-way street. If you care about their happiness, but they don’t care about yours, you need to reconsider how serious it really is.
- Be honest. Honesty is key to everything in life, especially relationships. You should lie as little as possible (including little white lies). If you truly do not want to tell them something, just say so. Lying about what’s going on will only make things worse. However, telling them you don’t want to talk right now is honesty.
- If all you care about is sex, get out. You aren’t in a serious relationship then, you just want sex. That isn’t the way to maintain a relationship, that’s how you hurt feelings and gain a bad reputation. Breaking someone’s heart for sex is terrible.
Being in a healthy “serious” relationship is an important step in high school. More than likely, it will define how many of your adult relationships go. So, while it may seem confusing, it’s actually not that hard. Follow your gut and when in doubt, here are some pointers for you to look at.