Your wedding day is quickly approaching and your elementary school-aged daughter is less than thrilled. In your efforts to make her your flower girl, instead of a bubbly little girl walking ahead of you down the aisle, she turned into a very shy, sullen little one who drags her feet and refuses to look up.
Mommy getting married is sometimes frightening to little girls. They do not know what to expect. They may really like your soon-to-be, but having him move in and become step-dad is a whole other ballgame. Snuggles on Saturday mornings may be threatened. What if he makes her eat her peas? These issues are pretty big when you are 6 or 8.
You know this man you are welcoming into your home. You know the bumps in the road will smooth out soon enough, but how do you make her feel that this wedding (which is about both of you) is a special day for her? You include her.
Ways to include your daughter
When you are selecting a dress for the flower girl, it has to match the other bridesmaid’s dresses. But if you select different activities for her to be part of she can choose a special dress (with your help) that she likes. This will make her feel like it is her big day too. She will feel like you did when you slipped on your perfect wedding gown.
Here are a couple of tips on ways your daughter can be involved in your wedding in low-key ways.
- Let her serve the candy buffet
Candy buffets are all the rage. They are beautiful and much easier to make and maintain than traditional pastry bars. You will buy your candy in bulk from an online supplier (see more here) and you will provide goodie bags for guests to take home. You can keep your little one busy while she does the all-so-important job of filling goodie bags for guests. All she needs is a stool to sit on and a basket to place the filled bags. (you can even set up a little workstation out of site of the candy buffet and let her work there and bring the bags over when they are ready. There will be plenty of candy she can use from the packages that have not been placed on the buffet yet.
- Have her walk with you down the aisle
This is a union that includes her. Let her trail behind you down the in her pretty jr. bride dress, carrying flowers or a basket. If you choose, you can slip a tiny ring on her finger when you reach the end of the aisle. It can be a band of gold or a birthstone ring.
- Mini-photographer
Buy your kids a few disposable cameras and show them how to use them. Tell them, their job is to go around and take people’s pictures even when they are not looking. They feel special and sometimes you get a few lucky shots!
- Bubble basket
Whether your guests will be throwing rice or blowing bubbles, invest in a few tiny bottles of bubbles. Place them in a basket and have your daughter pass them out before your exit.
- Special dance
Before the reception ends, have step-dad save a special father-daughter dance just for her. Let her see that she is special to him and that he wants only her happiness. This is a moment she will never forget.
These are just a few small ways you can make your big day a big event for your daughter as well. There are many more ways to incorporate her into the ceremony. Talk with her and see what she would like to do. Then make it special. This life-changing day will be forever in your minds and in your hearts.
Author Bio
Wendy Dessler
Wendy is a super-connector with Outreachmama who helps businesses find their audience online through outreach, partnerships, and networking. She frequently writes about the latest advancements in digital marketing and focuses her efforts on developing customized blogger outreach plans depending on the industry and competition.