Ever since my wife told me that I was going to be a daddy, I have been consumed with my daughter’s future. I know as she gets older, she is going to test the waters. Also, she is not experienced in this world and will need help making tough decisions. All of this sent me down many paths of research and reading.
Children do not have the ability to make wise decisions. Think back to your teenage years. You did not think about the consequences of your actions. The only concern was the fastest path from point A to B. There was no need to think of speedbumps in the road because you’re invincible.
Because of this thought train, we made many mistakes, and sometimes even got hurt. The next time you did this task, you thought twice about consequences. Some of us were even lucky to have parents who laid out rules and regulations. These rules kept us safe based on the prophetic visions of our parents. Turns out, they were right…a lot.
Ok, I promised a formula. It is R+R-R=R+R. OR Rules and Regulations without Relationship = Resentment and Rebellion. Before I elaborate, let me say I am not sure where this came from. I heard it in a church sermon.
As parents we set rule and create regulations with great intent. We want our children to survive long enough to get out of the house and be able to live successful lives. Often, we know what is best for our children. We know what it takes to make it and what roadblocks the young’ns will face.
The problem is that we create these rules and regs without having a bond with our kids. Then we come off as un-caring disciplinarians who have no clue what it is like to be a teenager. This strict love leads to rebellion as many of us know.
Before you limit the actions of your child, let them know where it is coming from. When we feel loved, it is easier to accept advice and limits. Love first, and then limit their actions.