Wondering what your kids will be like when they become teenagers is something that is on the minds of most parents even when their children are infants. Of course, in many ways you hope they never do grow up, but remain as the sweet, innocent youngsters you adore so much. Inevitably though, time passes and the specter of the teenage years looms ever closer. It can’t be avoided, so if you want to get through what could be a difficult period with as little stress as possible, you need to stop dreading it and embrace the passage your child is taking from youth to adulthood.
There’s no such thing as a typical teen
The media would have us believe that all teenagers become the same morose, argumentative and rebellious stereotypical teenager. In truth, every child is different, and their experience of going through their teenage years will be unique to them. There may be certain traits that are more common amongst teenagers, but scientific studies have shown that these are normally related to biological and genetic imperatives that have evolved to prepare children for being independent adults. On the one hand, there is the massive change in hormones that occurs at puberty, which is enough to make anyone’s behavior erratic. Coupled with that are the brain’s genetic impulses that drive teens to act in ways that bring them into conflict with their parents.
Dealing with rebellion
Now you know there are reasons for your teen to behave in the way they do, it will hopefully be of some comfort to know that it’s beyond their control, and is a survival mechanism to ensure they can live without your protection. Nevertheless, it can still be immensely frustrating dealing with these teen behaviors. What you need to remember is that getting worked up over it all will do no good at all. You need to keep as calm as you can, whilst still enforcing certain boundaries. You have to start letting go a little, for example not dictating what clothes your teen can wear, and letting them stay out later with their friends. If they know you are going to have a cow if they come to you with a problem, they will just shut themselves off. It’s far better for them to feel they can come to you and discuss any issues or questions they have. If they ask you what you think of vaping and you come over all draconian on the subject, it won’t stop them experimenting behind your back. If however, you have a sensible, realistic discussion of the facts and guide them to reliable websites with more info, they are more likely to respect you and listen to what you say.
Rebellious teenage behavior may seem reckless and designed to make you crazy, but in fact,it’s necessary in order for young people to discover their limitations and break the parental constraints that have controlled their lives thus far. The best thing you can do is be there for them, love them, and advise them, knowing they will come out the other side as responsible, mature young adults.
Brought to you by our friend, Carol.