Tell me about about yourself, Jacob.
Well, you see, I’m a paradox. Maybe even an oxymoron.
May I ask how that is so?
You may.
Don’t be a smart alack.
Okay, fine. I’m an anal-retentive teenage boy. So I’m naturally a lazy procrastinator, due to my age, but I am also a perfectionist.
Very interesting. That shall be enough insane schizophrenia for today.
(Note, this is the beginning of the actual article, not my crazed ramblings.)
I am actually a paradox. Like I explained above, I am an anal-retentive teenager, which is an awkward combination. It’s a unique battle of my brain. But, I’m going to delve into it a little more. And not necessarily, me in specific, but teenagers in general.
First up, laziness. I literally cannot think of a teenager who isn’t lazy. It’s pretty much our shtick. I can’t tell you why we are lazy, but we are. I personally find that if I am not interested in what I’m doing or I have plenty of free time, I tend to become easily distracted and would rather do other things. According to Monica Luciana of the University of Minnesota, it may be due to development: “Blame it on ‘cognitive limitations.’ Teenagers’ brains can’t multitask as well as those of the taskmasters…The part of the brain responsible for multitasking continues to develop until late adolescence, with cells making connections even after some children are old enough to drive.” Now, I don’t really agree with this, it’s pretty insulting. It does make a good excuse, though.
At the same time, I am anal-retentive. That means that I am a detail-oriented person. I look at details and I want them to be just right. It basically makes me a perfectionist. It is not overly uncommon, and is a bit of an antidote to laziness. As described by wikipedia, it is, “a person who pays such attention to detail that the obsession becomes an annoyance to others, and can be carried out to the detriment of the anal-retentive person.”
Thus, I am an oxymoron. And as I see it, it is unique. I want to not do work, but I have a little voice telling me to do it and make it perfect. Thus, I wait a while to do my work, but I always have it done and done well. That’s just how my brain works. So, I’m a paradox.
Author’s note: Although some portions of this article make me seem clinically insane, I am in perfectly good mental health, in case you were wondering.